Last Monday, I arrived in Maple Ridge (a suburb of Vancouver) and surprised my old skiing buddy Joe. We first skied together 16 years ago!!! Joe is 81yo, he went to elementary school with Joseph and Mary. I was warned to be precious with Joe because he had a stroke recently.
They tell me he came in after his stroke and was speaking in tongues (blabbering) so they took him to the hospital and all that business.
After drinking a few of those Canadian Rye’s (rum) Joe told me the real story.
A few Monday’s ago, Joe was on a ladder trimming a tree in his front lawn. One of the teachers from the school next door to his place walked past, she might have been wearing a short skirt. That caught old Joe’s attention, he slipped and bit his tongue. He tells me he thought he might have bit it off. So went inside to make sure it was OK. Old Joe was blabbering (as we all have)…. I’m OK, I just bit my tongue……
All the women thought he had a stroke….. so ten minutes later he was at the hospital.
Moral of the story….. 81yo’s should step off the ladder before checking out school teachers in mini-skirts. Otherwise, it could cause a stroke. I think we are all guilty of a few strokes thinking about teachers in mini-skirts.
I nearly had a bloody stoke when Joe and I went hiking and saw some bears.
Joe used to get a moose a year (he had a licence to shoot a moose every season), so he is a fair dinkum hunter but Jeez Louise this bear and its cub were really close!!!
He convinced me to shake the sand out of my lady parts and get a little closer (I was in the truck otherwise). This was really, really, really amazing!!!!
Photos never do anything justice, but Joe kept dragging me closer and closer and WOW!!!
Speaking of strokes….. my mate Cole (from Nelson/San Francisco) and I decided to head up to some local lakes here in Fernie. As we approached the lakes there appeared a beautiful young lady in a bikini.
She said “Hello” to Cole and I think he had a stroke. He just blabbled.
Did you bite your tongue Cole?
Cole admitted, he had a mini-stroke.
This is that young lass…. Cole took this photo not being a creeper but of the lake and she popped up again. That is his story and I believe it.
Despite all of the shenanigans and bottomless bottles of Jack Daniels (we did conclude that we have a theoretical bottomless bottle of Jack Daniels) the real measure of a man is his chess game. Cole bested me 2 matches to 1 with 1 draw.
Cole offered a rematch, it could be in San Fran, Reefton (NZ), Queenstown, Colorado, Tahoe or Fernie. Neither of us are worried about the location, these things seem to manifest in their own way.
