When I first started running (because I was fat) I heard about marathons….. to start I signed up for a half marathon. I didn’t finish. On my second attempt, I did finish.
Then I signed up for a marathon. Yeah, didn’t finish that either. I finished my second attempt, didn’t finish my third one but have finished a few since (9 in all – technically 10).
Then I heard about triathlons. I signed up for a half Ironman, you guessed it, I didn’t finish my first one (I’m blaming a flat tyre). I had a pretty good triathlon career after that first set back…. My triathlon pronoun was ‘participant’, not ‘athlete’ or ‘competitor’.
I finished my 3.8km swim, the 180km bike ride and the marathon in 15hrs and 55 minutes. I am an IRONMAN and that is the end of my triathlon career.
Fact Check: I did come out of retirement for the Escape from Alcatraz, but it was more about jumping off a paddle steamer and swimming from Alcatraz……
Failing first, and coming back strong is how it has been with girls too. My first crush, at 6yo, Miss Gabrielle, I had no luck there to start. But, 28 years later….. finally won her over.
Then I found out she is a fruit cake. Can’t blame 6yo Tom about that, Gabrielle is still hot as hell, 6yo Tom could pick the pretty ones.
A year or so ago, when I was living on the Sunshine Coast, there is a mountain ‘range’ called the Glass House Mountains. My mate Raylee took me up the fourth highest peak, Mt. Ngungun for sunset drinks.
After 20 years living in real mountains I looked at these mountains with distain. The highest of the Glass House Mountains is Mount Beerwah at the cloud tickling height of 556m (1,800 feet). Skiing top to bottom at Keystone or Fernie (my home towns) is 3x that height.
One Tuesday morning, probably hungover, I stumbled up to the base of Mt. Beerwah and had my butt kicked. Australia does have some ‘real’ mountains!!!!
Darnit, it was steep. And exposed and bloody scary. Too much for me.
A couple of months later I returned, I fluffed around for two hours and got past the ‘crux’ but again I was a DNF.
Side note: this isn’t the North Face of the Eiger. During my two failed attempts I saw lots of old people and children scamper up and down. I just chickened out.
Of course, I was a bit disappointed in myself. A few months more down the track and I’m dating a girl who is keen to hike/climb the second highest mountain in the range, Mt. Tibrogargan (took me ages to be able to pronounce it property). One of my golfing mates told me he tried climbing it and he turned around at a place called ‘Chicken Rock’. Kim said that he didn’t need to describe it, I’d know it when I came to it.
Dead set, hiking up there with a new girlfriend and we get to chicken rock. To this day, she just calls it :”Tom’s Rock”….
(I’m pretty sure you can guess she dumped me for being a pussy)
After three failures, I needed to reset.
There are 13 peaks in the Glass House Mountains.
Two are illegal to climb:
- Mt. Beerwah (556m). Which is my 11th Summit, see notes below.
- Mt. Coonowrin (377m). Perhaps the most beautiful mountain in the range which has been closed for years. There is no national park easement (surrounded by private land) and I am advertising for rock climbers who will help me summit. This is in my future, but I am excluding this in my tour of the Glass House Mountains. It is definitely unfinished business.
Lets start walking down the list of the Glass House Mountains after my reset……
August 8th – Mt. Beerburrum (278m)
Paved all the way to the top. My wheelchair mates could handle it.
August 22nd – Mt. Tibberoowuccum (220m)
Bit more challenging and some rock scrambling which I’m not great with. Mt. Tibberoowuccum looks right at the second highest peak and Chicken/Tom’s Rock felt like it was waving at me. The scar on the hill is the track up.
August 22nd – The Twins (Mt. Tunbubudla East and West – 294m)
It was a weekend so this was nice because it was quiet. Saw my first snake for the summer….
And I got the truck stuck driving out – pic below the back two wheels are off the ground. I had to call a friend to help me get unstuck. After the 2hr wait for Pete to arrive, we tied a rope to the front and just as he was about to tow me out I asked, “What if the truck rolls on its side?”
Pete: “It will be an improvement, you only have one wheel on the ground right now.”
Good point Pete and thanks for the hand.
September 7th – Mt. Coochin (235m)
This was a great hike with awesome views and I got some more time walking on that volcanic rock which makes up these mountains. First (of two) people I saw all day was this tattoo’d up goth chick on the false summit.
She followed me down the gully and up the second peak and all of a sudden, I moved rather quickly up hill.
I had read about a less known trail off the backside and fleeing the vampire chick, I didn’t think twice about taking it. Half way down, there is this old guy, 80yo at least, walking up. I checked with him if this was the right way down and he told me it was and he walks this a couple of times a week. He then told me that the trail (he was walking up) is difficult and he wasn’t sure I would be able to manage it. Jesus, I must really be looking fat.
September 23rd – Mt. Elimbah (109m)
Public Holiday weekend so I wanted to pick a peak that was quiet and I nailed it. Only a short one but I spent some time ‘training’ on the rock.
September 23rd – Mt. Mike (Mt. Miketeebumulgrai – 202m)
Same day as the previous hike and it was the end of the day, I was a little beat and wasn’t in the mood but “it won’t climb itself”.
It was a bush bash up, at the worst time of year (snake wise). I lost the trail half way up and was about to turn around but then thought “If I turn around, I’ll just have to come back…..”
I got her done.
September 30th – Wild Horse Mountain (123m)
Growing up I was told there is a fire lookout tower at the top of this wee mountain. I’ve driven past this mountain perhaps 2,000 times. Everyone I know, knows of it, but nobody I know, has climbed it. One of those things that is right in front of your face, so you don’t see it right?
Time permitting, I won’t drive past this peak again. It is at a highway exit and it is a 10 minute walk. Why? Why have I been too lazy to ever walk up here before?
I haven’t ticked off the two big peaks yet, but, so far, Wild Horse Mountain has the best views!!!
Jesus, how did I get so fat? I better get on top of that.
October 5th – Mt. Ngungun (253m via the back door)
Technically, this is the first of the Glass House Mountains that I climbed back with my mate Raylee. I could ‘count’ that as a summit but I read about a ‘spicy route’ up the backside of the mountain and that deserved a redo as part of this wee project.
There were some notes online about the route, there were some reports of it being closed so I headed out for an explore, not fully expecting to bag the summit.
I did get to try out my climbing skills on the chain link fence around the old quarry….. magical spot.
This sign was a bit daunting. I walked past it thinking the trail was further on and that was just a rock climbing area…. nope. That was the trail.
As you know, I’m more than happy to turn around and quit. But when I came to the scary part, I felt like I had been building up to this. After the first little scramble, I was freaked out and felt a little bit exposed but a couple of deep breaths and I shook the sand out of my chicken underpants.
Was it worth it….. yell yeah!!!!
October 7th – Mt. Elimbah – Again
I’ve already climbed this mountain, but I thought it was so beautiful, I took some of my old Bribie mates up it on a Friday afternoon.
They had never heard of it, they groaned all the way up, and they moaned all the way down. After a few beers, they all thought it was just marvelous!!!
October 14th – Mt. Cooee (106m)
While this is a successful tick for one of the 13 Glass House Mountains, it was really a failed attempt at one of the serious peaks.
Bit disappointed, but happy to nail Cooee and got some practice down climbing on rock. Good decision making and I’ll be back early next week.
If this is the view from a bad day in the mountains…. can’t complain too much.
And the Tib looming over, laughing at me.
January 24th – Mt. Coolum (208m)
Everyone can climb Mt. Coolum but this day was fun and notable. My mate Pete and I had planned to go surfing but it was WAAAAAYYYY too big. So we decided to stroll up Mt. Coolum instead.
Mt. Coolum was lovely and now that the holidays are over, I am excited to get back hiking and climbing.
February 1st – Mount Ninderry (306m)
Holidays are over, the surf was still was too big so Pete and I scampered up Mt. Ninderry. Wonderful hike, similar to Coolum without the crowds and with just as good views.
June 22nd – Mount Beerwah (556m)
This is the big girl. I had two failed attempts at Mt. Beerwah and just as I was warming up for her, the government closed her.
My first thought was…. bloody fantastic, I will have her all to myself. That is just what I did.
There were no cops about. No cars in the carpark (I did hide Smokey in the scrub and walk in 2kms). I had Mt. Beerwah all to myself. Talk about a once in a life time!!!!
A few bundy’s on the summit, another few bundy’s singing to the world in the organ like cave chamber in the over crop (I’ve never heard an echo like this before…. just amazing).
And I didn’t get caught….. thank you Australia for becoming a country of rule followers.
For days I was buzzing. There is no reasonable explanation why this was closed and anyone who dared, could have had the same magical experience as I did that day. I would have loved to have other people there to share it with.
July 14th – Mount Tibrogargan (364m)
Remember….. the first time I attempted to climb Tib, I had a new girlfriend and I still chickened out. The second and third times I attempted it, I was on my own and just chickened out.
For my Summit Day, I was able to wrangle my mate Dave the Sailor as my guide. A guy I’ve skied with in Colorado, Utah, Nevada, California the Victorian Alps and a lot of time in New Zealand’s Southern Alps.
My old friends know what an athlete and a mountain man Dave is, but many won’t know that Dave was recently chosen for the Australian Nation Team for Ninja Warrior. He is a beast. He is also the only friend of mine who has ever beaten in me in a ski race….. Ski Joring, here are our prize money cheques. Click here to read about those shenanigans.
A day after Dave’s 60th birthday, he took time out of his schedule to guide me up Tibrogargan. There is absolutely no way I could have done it on my own. It is SUPER SCARY!!!!!!
What a fun mission this has been over 18 months. I see these mountains from my roof, every time I drive over the Bribie Bridge, they have been in my face every since I got back and I feel better for having ticked them off.
Thanks to:
- Raylee: For being my only friend in Mooloolabah when I landed there.
- Pete Facey: Who sacked up and got out of his comfort zone to come hiking with me.
- The Big Fish Tavern: Which got a few of my old Bribie mates along for Friday hikes.
- Dave the Sailor: We have had many great adventures. Thank you for making this one happen. I’m looking forward to more mountain days.
- Government Officials: Who closed things down so I had them all to myself. While I made the most of the opportunities to have gorgeous places all to myself, that isn’t how it should be. Public land is, for everyone.
- Anyone who climbs Mt. Beerwah, Mt. Warning, Ayres Rock or any other closed public space and gets fined…. I will pay that fine for you.